Saturday, June 18, 2005

Poor Bigfoot (Dedicated to the Big Man/Ape himself and also Nataliedee who obviously understands him like I do.)

Poor Bigfoot. What did he ever do to the people of Oklahoma? You never hear about Bigfoot eating people or dogs or menacing small children, or even TP-ing houses. Every encounter you hear about, he's running away or trying to frigging hide. He is obviously neat, tidy and private, as he seems to clean up after himself rather fastidiously (they never seem to find anything belonging to him-- no poo, stray hair, dirty dishes- nothing.).

So why are people so mean, going into the lake beds deep in the woods of Oklahoma? These Bigfoot hunters go out in the middle of the night to where poor Bigfoot was last seen, and shine their laser lights, tromp through what is probably his living room, and fire shots (I think they were tranquilizers or blanks, but STILL!). How would those Bigfootologists like it if Bigfoot came into their house in the middle of the night, making noise and shooting guns off and beaming laser beam lights at them? They'd probably do the human equivalent of what poor Bigfoot did in the TravelChannel special I saw tonight did: throw rocks at the intruders. Bigfoot is such a gentle guy, he didn't even hurt them with the rocks; he just tried to scare the big jerks off by throwing rocks in their general direction.

One guy was all, "until someone drags a body in, I won't believe it." Here's an idea... if you want to meet Bigfoot and you know he's shy, why not go into his alleged habitat and talk softly to him? Perhaps sing some soothing, comforting songs or play some inviting acoustic guitar? Maybe bring some fresh baked cookies, a casserole, a pie? Why go in all hostile and mean? I'd hide from you too, even if I was 9-feet tall, covered in wild hair and strong as 10 men. Seems we humans do this type of thing a lot.

Bigfoot is obviously a sensitive soul, and just wants to be left alone in Bigfootville doing his Bigfoot tasks in Bigfoot peace. I say we leave him alone. Poor Bigfoot.

3 Comments:

At 8:52 AM , Blogger Megan said...

You are the cutest.

 
At 3:14 PM , Blogger Flipsycab said...

Bigfoot likes chocolate chip cookies, sunsets, and playing the drums. Surely you can work with that. What's with the guns? I mean, come on, that takes no imagination.

 
At 9:40 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

That is so true. You are absolutely right. Give Bigfoot some respect. I'm on your side.

 

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