Ode to an Obnoxious Crap E-mail Forward

I found this in my inbox this morning. Is there something wrong with me that I find crap like this completely unfunny? And damn, what a double standard. If this went out with the opposite genders, there would be such a call to arms.

****Start of obnoxious e-mail****

FUNERAL PROCESSION: (DON'T SKIP THE PRAYER AT THE END...ITS PRICELESS!)

A woman was leaving a convenience store with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit bull on a leash. Behind her, a short distance back, were about 200 women walking single file.

The woman couldn't stand her curiosity. She respectfully approached the woman walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry for your loss", I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
"My husband's."
"What happened to him?"
The woman replied, "My dog attacked and killed him."
She inquired further, "Well, who is in the second hearse?"
The woman answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my husband when the dog turned on her."
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two women.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
__________________________________
A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord,I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.

****End of obnoxious e-mail****

Ok, so instead of just letting sleeping dogs lie, I had to go poke Fido and Muffin with a stick. I started really thinking about that "call to arms" thing I mentioned. The sender is a former student of mine who I love dearly, but doesn't always think things through or beyond herself. So, to prove a point, I went back through the e-mail and changed the gender throughout, and asked her if she still thought it was forward-worthy-funny. Woman gets attacked by dog, another woman gets attacked by dog, a line of men hoping to off their wives and mother-in-laws, a "prayer" about wanting to beat your wife. No one with half a brain would send that version out (heh, hi, except me, apparently) let alone expect laughs.

To me, it shows an inexcusable laziness to just go for the lameass "ha-ha" at men's expense instead of taking the chance to show some respect for the opposite sex by deleting the crap. It shouldn't be anymore ok to talk about beating a man than it is a woman. And to just laugh it off, bugs. Or at least, bugs me. I respect my husband, dad, uncle, guy friends, etc. more than that.

Now, as my brilliant friend Jenny pointed out, male abuse of women is, of course, a much more serious social problem than the other way around. But as my brilliant friend Jenny went on to say, "It'd be nice if we could think of something a little more intelligent and less appalling to make jokes about. Spousal abuse-HAHAHA. Wow, gets me every time." (Poor Jenny had to put up with my pre-blog rant. Jenny deserves some nice wine.)

I also think e-mail forwarders should take a minute to think a little before hitting that send button. Maybe reflecting on: "how am I portrying myself by mindlessly forwarding crap like this under my name?" or "could this be offensive to anyone?" or even just a simple, "is this even the least bit funny?"

I don't know- maybe I just have a bee in my bonnet today. I think of myself as one who enjoys and appreciates all sorts of humor, can take a joke, and although liberal, not necessarily PC, but for some reason, this got me going.

Ok. I'll breathe now. Perhaps lying under my desk in the fetal position and rocking back and forth for a bit would be just what the doctor ordered.