Didja Think I Died?

I did survive the dentist. The procedure itself (apparently I needed a crown in order to fix the tooth) didn't hurt at all, except I freaking HATE getting novocaine, but am, of course, completely indebted to it. It hurt afterward though, and Advil was my best friend for a day or two.

I also survived the CEO meeting. Who knew that a CEO could be so charming and funny? He kind of had the Anderson Cooper thing going on.

So, given that I ended the week with a fabulous drag show benefit with my fabulous husband, my fabulous friend Paul, and his fabulous sister, niece, and friends, I'll give the whole darn week a thumbs up. The "girls" were stupendously gorgeous. Bitches.
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So how about that bug-eyed-bride-on-the-run who caused panic, chaos and fuss for family, friends and her fiancee? Not to mention an awful lot of law enforcement officials. (I couldn't put that in the first sentence and ruin my little alliterative run, now could I?) And what is all this business about her being befriended by the police, and being gifted with FBI shirts, hats, pants, and a teddy bear? When I caused major panic and chaos in my home growing up, I sure as heckfire didn't get a spiffy new outfit and a teddy bear.

She looks scared as hell in every single picture they have of her. Well, except for the one where she's under a festive blanket, flanked by sympathetic looking police. Ms. Wilbanks was apparently overwhelmed by her imminent 600-guest wedding festivities. I would be too. Which is why I can't even conceive of holding a wedding with 600-guests. I mean, unless you're royalty. Even then.

And, while I don't think that jail time is the answer for Ms. Wilbanks, I do think some community service and repayment of at least some of the costs associated with the search to find her are in order. Someone who can afford to invite 600 guests (600 GUESTS!!! ) is someone, in my opinion, who can afford to pay back at least some of the cost to the law enforcement organizations. Even as a token mea culpa.

I also think some therapy is in order. What pushes a person to choose faking her own kidnapping over just cancelling the damn wedding and writing a note and/or phone call saying she'd be gone for a few days to sort things out? How does one get to a point where they see faking their own kidnapping as the easy way out? I'll admit it kind of makes me wonder if maybe her husband is/was abusing her, even though nothing of the sort has come to light. I just can't get my head around why else she'd do what she did.

So anyway, if I go missing again after a dentist appointment or CEO visit, I expect you all ("All?" Clearly, I have delusions of grandeur) to worry, and then send me new outfits and teddy bears. Or just kick my ass. One of the two.